Friday, December 14, 2012

What Hat Will You Wear to the 12/21 Apocalypse?

Dec. 21. One week from now. That’s it. Boom.

Earthquakes, Volcanoes. Tidal waves. Tornados. Hurricanes. Cities in flames. California plummeting into the sea. Also, an end to the Twinkies, though that was gonna happen anyway.

Just in case you haven’t been keeping up with the Facebook posts from that one creepy-intense guy from high school who always said the moon landings were faked, it’s simple: The Mayan calendar is about to run out, so we’re all gonna die. And no doubt wretchedly, which is generally regarded as the worst way to die.

There is the very faintest chance you’ll live. John Cusack did in that movie 2012, and yet his career’s kinda been in the toilet for a while now. Which means there’s gotta be some hope for at least a few of us, right?

Potential ragtag band of survivors. Lucky for humanity, all are wearing RDB hats.
So if you end up among the ragtag band of survivors entrusted with repopulating the planet, you won’t have the luxury of being dumb. You’re gonna need a good hat. Life in a post-apocalyptic hellscape is a whole lot better with a good hat.

So choose wisely, would-be-survivor. Choose wisely.

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