Saturday, December 22, 2012

So, You’re Still Alive, Huh? Good for You!


By now you’ve probably noticed the gas mains not exploding, the absence of fireballs raining from on high, the extreme lack of streets buckling and buildings collapsing into rubble. Also, a plane has utterly failed to fall on your boss and the ocean hasn’t risen up and swallowed the coast of California whole.

Mayan Apocalypse? End of Days? 12/21/2012? Meh. We’re all still here, and still very much alive, including your boss, that bastard.

So congrats to you on, y’know, not dying. In fact, here’s a snazzy personalized trophy from all of us at the Real Deal Brazil, to commemorate how pleased we are that you aren’t toast.

Feel free to print it out and tape it to your wall, a reminder of your own continued existential success. And, really, no need to thank us – you and everyone else earned it!

There are definite downsides to this dearth of cataclysm, of course: You few straight guys who might have made it through the staggering destruction and unprecedented loss of life won’t now be able to swagger up to any post-apocalyptic hotties and say, “It’s our responsibility to repopulate the Earth; we owe it to humanity!” and have that line possibly work for ya.

Still, it’s better to focus on the positive here: Not only are you, dear reader, not resoundingly deceased, but you’re also not careening around in smoldering ruins with one leg snapped in half and your head on fire. Great, right? And that’s not even to mention that terrific trophy we just gave ya!

Sometimes, when a widely publicized apocalypse fails to happen, it’s the little things that make it tolerable.

Speaking of which: Us! The Real Deal Brazil! We’re not only still also among the living, but still also the bestest hat to have if ever TS truly does HTF (didn’t get that? Think: a fan, some hitting, and poop). Because the next pending apocalypse typically is just around the corner …

 Personally, we’re hoping it will include zombies.

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